I really like cooking. Sometimes, I'm really good at it. Sometimes, I spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen and manage to produce something utterly tasteless. But I have learned something about myself. When I'm feeling relaxed and creative - I cook. Those are the times when I experiment and it works - when I feel somehow connected with the food that I'm preparing.
When I'm feeling frustrated or am looking for something to do - I don't cook. Those are the times when I can work very hard and produce nothing of consequence.
These ups and downs in kitchen don't stop me from devouring cookbooks and planning my next masterpiece. I just know what days to don my apron and what days to reheat leftovers.
I'm discovering the same thing with my latest interest: curling. When I'm just happy to be on the ice - things feel right. When I'm distracted or tired - I can't find my footing, my balance or my aim. Funny thing is that I don't get frustrated on the not so good days. I just recognize that I'm 'off' and keep playing.
Same goes for running - good days, bad days - I get the run done. I am grateful for the good runs but don't get cocky about them and I never let a bad run dictate the next one.
So why are some things easy to accept as they come and others, well, not so much.
I've tried golf. I approached it with the same attitude I approach all new things - have fun and no pressure. Five minutes in and I just knew this was NOT for me. It took an incredible amount of effort not to hurl the clubs, dynamite the ball or throw myself into the water hazard just to get away from it all. I will end up on heavy medication if I take up golf.
I don't understand why. But I understand myself enough to know that I shouldn't spend too much time wondering. Because it's not rational - it's visceral.
So I will run, curl and cook. But if you see me on the golf course - back away very slowly