12 Years

Today is Hallowe'en.

Tomorrow is my 12-year diaversary.

Twelve years ago today, I woke up feeling awful. I woke up exhausted. I woke up thirsty. I woke up having probably lost a pound or two since the day before. I woke up craving sugar. I woke up knowing something was terribly wrong and hoping that the appointment I had made for November 1st would shed some light on the problem...even though I had pretty much figured out the problem already. I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

Twelve years ago tomorrow, I woke up in my own bed for the last time in a week. I would be misdiagnosed before noon, re-diagnosed correctly by about 4pm, in the hospital by 5 and in intensive care before dinner. I would have called my parents trying to be brave and broken down in tears before I could even say 'hi dad'. I would be put on an insulin IV and assured that insulin would make me feel better. It did. In fact by the time my parents showed up around 8pm I was already feeling better. Probably because my blood sugar was down to 20 rather than 35.

Every day has 24 hours in it. Every hour has 60 minutes in it and every minute has 60 seconds in it. Some days, some hours, some minutes have a bigger impact on our lives than others.

The day of my car accident when I was 16 years old aged me. In the hours, days and weeks that followed that horrible day, I grew up quickly. By the time I left that hospital, I was no longer the little girl who had gone in. I had grown up, matured and learned a lot of life lessons that helped me when I found myself in the same intensive care unit a decade later.

Some of the nurses recognized me from my last stay. I (thankfully) wasn't in the same room again but, as soon as those doors opened, I instantly remembered the smells, the sounds, the feeling of vulnerability and the stubborn refusal to cry no matter what happened next. At least not until my family had left the room.

That week 12 years ago was another one of those weeks where I was forced to mature quickly to adapt to my new situation. I came out of that hospital stronger and braver than I was when I went in.

I am who I am today because of many things. My ability to handle life's curveballs is due largely to that car accident and to that diabetes diagnosis. Those moments taught me how to handle physical and emotional pain with courage and how to separate the little things in life from the big ones.

I wouldn't wish either of those weeks on anyone. But I am grateful that they are part of my own history. My life would not be nearly as rich or wonderful if it wasn't for the moments that taught me what is important...and what is not.

November 1st - For Better and For Worse

November 1st. It's always an important day in my world.

It's the day when all the Hallowe'en candy is marked down and I join the other sale-happy shoppers at 7:30am at Wal-Mart. I stock up on perfectly sized bags of emergency carbs that come in the form of sour patch kids and sour cherries.

It's also, ironically, my diabetes anniversary. (And no, I didn't get diabetes from eating too much candy thank you very much) Today marks my 11th year living with the big D and, as always, I'm surprised at how much time has passed, slightly annoyed when I think of all the time, energy and money that this crazy disease takes up, and eternally grateful for all the things that it has helped me to do. All the people I have met. All the changes I have made in my life. All the adventures.

Today is a bittersweet kinda day where I let myself feel sad for just a little bit and then do my best to celebrate the fact that I'm still here, still strong, still healthy, and still fighting the good fight.

November 1st, 2013 is an even bigger day than usual. Two more things are happening today to help make my day all that much brighter.

First of all - guess what starts tonight?

That's right folks. Another curling season is about to begin. 

Even more exciting that dusting off my broom and curling shoes is that today is the day that an article I wrote is being released - internationally. You may remember a few months back that Dave Hingsburger over at Rolling Around in my Head asked me to write an article about how to support someone with a developmental disability who has diabetes. Well, today is the day that the article arrives in inboxes around the world. It's exciting to think that perhaps, because of what I've written, someone takes the time to ask the right questions and say the right things. It's exciting to think that a few more people will offer support instead of judgement. That they will take the time to check out the DOC and help people connect with others who truly get it. It's exciting to think I might make a difference. 

I can't put the article up on my blog yet but will be able to in a few weeks. Thank you to everyone who sent me suggestions of things to include. 

So yes, today is a big day in my world. And yet, as is often the case, I celebrate it in a small way. With at early morning swim because I can. With friends at the curling rink. Laughing over snacks and drinks. Curled up in bed with the man I love. Grateful, as always, to have been given another year.