Thursday, May 17, 2012

D-Blog Week Day 4 - Fantasy Diabetes Device

We get to imagine a diabetes device that would make our lives a little easier?

I am working on the assumption that this device cannot be a cure for diabetes (what would be the fun in that?) but that it can involve a little bit of magic, a melon ball of whimsy and a dash of crazy bananas.

With that in mind, I would like to propose a diabetes remote.

No silly, not a remote for one of our devices but an actual diabetes remote - complete with a pause button, a rewind and a fast forward.

Allow me to elaborate.

The pause button is probably my favourite. It must be used with care because we only get one pause per day (as per random magic rules set forth by the faerie queen) and the pause cannot last more than one hour. Imagine the possibilities! You have a speech to make at your sister's wedding and the last thing you want is to go low in the middle of it so you pause diabetes, deliver a rip-roaring speech, unpause and carry on with your night. No lows, no highs and, best of all, no need to give diabetes a second thought because it's been paused.

You have a triathlon to run and you're really worried about going low while swimming in the lake. Worry not dear swimmer - just pause diabetes. Hop in the lake, swim like a champ, hop out, unpause and carry on to the transition zone.

New beau? Really like him? Tonight might be the night? Pause diabetes and enjoy a worry-free romp. There will be plenty of time for romance-interrupting lows later in the relationship. No point on springing it all on them the first time right?

What about the rewind button? Ever bolused for something only to discover a) that you're not hungry enough to eat it all b) it tastes really gross and you don't want to eat it all or c) the yummy looking apple you brought for lunch is actually completely rotten in the middle and the only other thing around that has 20 carbs is a pack of gross candy your coworker has but you have to eat 20 carbs because you bolused for the apple.

Problem solved! Just rewind diabetes, redo the bolus, toss the apple in the compost and get on with your day.

Fast Forward? This one's for you Scully. Your sugar is super high and you feel like death. Waiting the two hours for it to drop is no longer necessary. Just fast forward and it will be down to normal again in seconds. Your sugar is super low and you feel like death? You've eaten the carbs you need to bring it up but the sweaty, shaky, numb-tongue, rattle-brained low feeling won't go away fast enough? Fast forward it - bam!

That, my friends, is MY fantasy diabetes device.

Did I mention it's purple?


  1. lol this is great! very creative, love it!

  2. I want this! Can it make TiVo remote noises, too? bloop Bloop BLOOP!

  3. I like it. Pause diabetes so I don't go low while hiking. Good idea.

  4. Where to I sign up for this "Diabetes Remote"? Love it!