One great thing? What is one thing about Diabetes that I do really well?
That's a hard question to answer - harder than I thought it would be actually. There are things I can get better at - to be sure. But that is for tomorrow's blog. Today is about celebrating what we do well.
After some soul searching (ie. sitting on the couch sipping a glass of wine staring at my laptop and then asking Doug for his input) I concluded that what I do best, when it comes to diabetes, is that I can separate the forest from the trees.
Truth: Diabetes is a finicky little thing and no amount of effort will ever succeed in controlling it.
Truth: What worked yesterday will not work tomorrow. And it will probably only half work today.
I am a self-diagnosed (but I'm sure those closest to me would agree wholeheartedly) Type A personality. That means that I like to organize things to the n-th degree, I like having a firm grasp on all the details and I'd prefer if life does NOT change my plans at the last minute.
Luckily, I'm a realistic Type A. I like order. I like routine. I like predictability. But I recognize that life does not always respect my desire for order, routine or predictability and I am able to roll with it.
What does that mean when it comes to diabetes?
For me, it means that I recognize that diabetes needs constant care, management, and vigilance. No matter what. No matter how I am feeling.
I have good days where diabetes behaves beautifully. I have days where I almost think I'm cured. I have days where, no matter how hard I fight, the diabetes gods win every battle.
I have happy days, I have carefree days, I have days where I cry in the kitchen because it feels like I just can't win. I get angry, frustrated, scared - for me there isn't much in life that inspires a greater range of emotions that diabetes.
But I never lose sight of the forest for the trees. No matter how I feel - I have never once, not in the nine and a half year that I've had T1, lost sight of the fact that diabetes never sleeps and I can't either. Standing in the kitchen in tears, my brain is still trying to figure out how to fix things. On the days when everything is perfect, I still never let down my guard.
I'm a fighter. Even when I don't feel like fighting, I fight.
That's what I do best.