Other weeks, it's front and centre.
This will be one of those weeks. I have two medical appointments this week - both of which are the types of appointments that I do not look forward to.
Some appointments are fun. I love going to the Diabetes Centre because they all seem so genuinely happy to see me. I think they like talking to patients who know their stuff, try really hard and do what they're told.
Others appointments are tolerable - like going to the dentist every few months for a cleaning. I just go, close my eyes and let my mind wander until it's over - keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have a low while the hygienist is doing her stuff.
This week, I have my annual ophthalmologist appointment on Monday and my annual physical on Friday.
I dread the eye test stuff because
- my eyes are so sensitive that all the drops, gusts of air and touching my eyeball with weird gadgets has me exhausted by the time I leave and
- one of these times, I'm going to be told that I have the beginnings of retinopathy - one of the lovely side effects of diabetes.
This might happen today. This might happen in 20 years. But I never know until he tells me so it freaks me out.
Being ok with diabetes takes a lot of work. Being told that diabetes has caused damage despite my best efforts will not be easy to hear. So I hope today is not the day that I hear it.
On Friday, I get to see my GP for my annual physical. The physical part is fine. The diabetes part I dread because she has a much different way of managing diabetes than my diabetes specialist does. My specialist manages the ins and outs of my diabetes care but my blood test results get sent to my GP. That means that, when I get there, she looks at the last year's worth of results and then gives her opinion. I do not always like her opinion.
When I see my specialist - she's always pleased with my A1Cs, my cholesterol, my blood pressure and all the other stuff. My GP almost always tells me that my A1C is too high, that my cholesterol is too high and that I should be on several medications that I would rather not be on.
Plus this time I also have to ask for some sort of test (MRI, ultrasound or whatever) to see what's really going on with my calf and ankle.
I don't mind going to medical appointments and I go to every single one that I am told to in an effort to stay as healthy as I can. But I'm guessing that, by Friday, I will have had my fill of doctors for a while.
Hey! I can relate, especially given what I've experienced the past few weeks.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, my GP and the specialists at my clinic are wonderfully understanding and supportive, while my local specialist leaves me feeling like I'm doing everything wrong.
It's amazing how the support leaves us feeling like all of our efforts are truly appreciated, while the lack of support can leave us feeling like shit and questioning ourselves!
In the end, though, we know how hard we try ... and what motivates us.
So, let's promise to keep up the good work, my friend.