I've tried being patient.
I've tried being understanding.
I've tried guilt and I've tried peer pressure.
And I'm still not finding a way to get myself back into the swimming groove.
Which seems completely bizarre to me because I really do love it when I get there.
I just don't seem to care enough to get there.
So I'm through being patient and understanding and I have dropped the guilt and peer pressure tactics.
I'm moving on to more drastic measures.
I've registered for two triathlons. Entered my information. Chose my shirt size. Gasped at the price once they added taxes, administrative fees and insurance. Entered my credit card number anyway. Clicked confirm. Got the email saying I was in.
I'm committed. I'm doing a sprint triathlon in June and an Olympic triathlon in July.
I'm eyeing two more races as well although I have yet to pull out my credit card again. But they are another sprint and another Olympic which would bring my summer total up to 4 triathlons. (Plus a half marathon just to liven things up a bit.)
This is where the psychological part is going to kick in.
See, I know I could swim the distance if I had to do it tomorrow. When I hopped in the pool back in January, after a few months off, I swam 3k fairly easily. So the thought of having to swim 1500m is not enough to get me back in the pool.
What is enough is the thought of swimming 1500m poorly.
See, swimming is actually my strongest of the three sports. But I've neglected it so my speed and my form are nowhere near where they were two summers ago when I was swimming 3 times a week.
And finishing a triathlon in June with a swim time that is several minutes slower than it was two years ago is enough to get me back in the pool when nothing else was.
Turns out it's not about the guilt.
It's about the pride.
Showing posts with label pride. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pride. Show all posts
Monday, March 16, 2015
Monday, April 16, 2012
Choice
The concept of choice is one that is fraught with all manner of pressures, both internal and external.
In my line of work, choice is something that we often give people. In my humble opinion, it's often given in a way that is unfair and that restricts their right to (real) choice. Asking: 'do you want to stay home or go to Tim Hortons for coffee?' is not the same as asking 'what would you like to do today?' Asking: 'do you want pizza or pasta for dinner' is not the same as asking 'what do you want for dinner?'.
But I don't want to talk about work today - I want to talk about choice.
Today is Boston marathon day. There are very few things in the running community that compare to today. Runners have trained, sometimes for years, for the opportunity to simply qualify to run Boston. That alone is a feat few of us will ever accomplish. Once qualified, runners begin training for the race. Being a spring marathon means that runners train over the winter. Runners living in cold climates must run 3+ hour runs through the cold, the wind, the snow and the ice. Through is all, they dream of joining the ranks of those who have run before them. When they head home after the marathon, they will be the owners of a blue and yellow Boston medal and they will most likely have a bag of Adidas running clothes that bear the logo and the recognizable colours that signals to other runners that yes, they have run Boston.
This year's race is a little different.
The weather is calling for heat. Thirty degree heat. In April.
Because of the predicted heat, on Saturday, the Boston Athletic Association made an unprecedented announcement. Runners, should they chose, can opt out of racing and defer to 2013. In order to do this, they must pick up their race bib in person (i.e. they can't have already dropped out for injury or other reasons and use the heat as a way to get into Boston next year), they cannot run the race (or part of it) and they must let the BAA know they are deferring.
Can you imagine?
Before the option of deferral, runners had two choices: run the race or not. If they chose not to run, they might never have another chance at Boston.
Now they have two different and (I believe) more difficult choices: run the race or defer.
Some people argue that runners, real runners, should be able to run through anything. It's wimpy to drop out because it's hot. Suck it up princess. Be a man. Run the damn race or move your sorry ass out of the way to let the real runners through.
I argue that it's that kind of thinking that gets runners into trouble.
Running is a hard, uncomfortable sport. Every run we do pushes us into an uncomfortable zone and we have to push back and keep moving forward. We get used to pain, to discomfort, to heat, to cold, to nausea, chafing and all sorts of other things that seem ridiculous to non-runners.
The trick is knowing when it's time to push through and when it's time to back off.
Most of the time, the answer is to push though. But sometimes, the answer is indeed to back off.
Boston would not offer the option of deferral if the weather were calling for high winds, driving rain or snow. Runners run through that stuff and they suck it up. Heat is different. Heat can be deadly.
Most Boston marathoners are elite, hardened athletes. Most of them will run the race today and be fine. There are 5,000+ runners in Boston who are not seasoned marathoners. They got in the race for reasons other than qualifying - they raised money, they were given entry bibs etc. Many people will take 5+ hours to run. Many people have medical conditions. Many people are not conditioned to running in extreme heat in the middle of the day. Many people probably shouldn't run.
Last Friday, if they chose not to run, they had to walk away from their Boston dream. In other words, without the option of deferral, many people would chose to run, whether they should or not, because it might be their only chance.
On Saturday, that changed. Now they could make a decision based on knowing their fitness level and their ability to run a marathon in the heat. And they could decide knowing that there will be another chance to run Boston.
Personally, the thought of training for four months and then not running is heartbreaking. I trained for 3 1/2 months before I was forced to drop out of my marathon - and that broke my heart and nearly broke my spirit along with it. Imagine sitting in a hotel room in Boston yesterday trying to decide if you should run or not? Imagine wondering if running a marathon is worth the risk to your heart? To your body? Imagine going home and having to tell everyone you decided not to run after all? Imagine having to train all over again next year?
Most of the 25,000+ runners will be out there today despite the heat - and I will watch with respect and awe.
A few runners will have made a conscious choice not to run - and part of me will respect them even more than I respect the runners who are running. They chose their health over a race, the race of all races. They chose for themselves despite the little voice in their head saying 'suck it up it's Boston'.
To all Boston runners - those who are running and those who are not. You are all heroes today.
In my line of work, choice is something that we often give people. In my humble opinion, it's often given in a way that is unfair and that restricts their right to (real) choice. Asking: 'do you want to stay home or go to Tim Hortons for coffee?' is not the same as asking 'what would you like to do today?' Asking: 'do you want pizza or pasta for dinner' is not the same as asking 'what do you want for dinner?'.
But I don't want to talk about work today - I want to talk about choice.
Today is Boston marathon day. There are very few things in the running community that compare to today. Runners have trained, sometimes for years, for the opportunity to simply qualify to run Boston. That alone is a feat few of us will ever accomplish. Once qualified, runners begin training for the race. Being a spring marathon means that runners train over the winter. Runners living in cold climates must run 3+ hour runs through the cold, the wind, the snow and the ice. Through is all, they dream of joining the ranks of those who have run before them. When they head home after the marathon, they will be the owners of a blue and yellow Boston medal and they will most likely have a bag of Adidas running clothes that bear the logo and the recognizable colours that signals to other runners that yes, they have run Boston.
This year's race is a little different.
The weather is calling for heat. Thirty degree heat. In April.
Because of the predicted heat, on Saturday, the Boston Athletic Association made an unprecedented announcement. Runners, should they chose, can opt out of racing and defer to 2013. In order to do this, they must pick up their race bib in person (i.e. they can't have already dropped out for injury or other reasons and use the heat as a way to get into Boston next year), they cannot run the race (or part of it) and they must let the BAA know they are deferring.
Can you imagine?
Before the option of deferral, runners had two choices: run the race or not. If they chose not to run, they might never have another chance at Boston.
Now they have two different and (I believe) more difficult choices: run the race or defer.
Some people argue that runners, real runners, should be able to run through anything. It's wimpy to drop out because it's hot. Suck it up princess. Be a man. Run the damn race or move your sorry ass out of the way to let the real runners through.
I argue that it's that kind of thinking that gets runners into trouble.
Running is a hard, uncomfortable sport. Every run we do pushes us into an uncomfortable zone and we have to push back and keep moving forward. We get used to pain, to discomfort, to heat, to cold, to nausea, chafing and all sorts of other things that seem ridiculous to non-runners.
The trick is knowing when it's time to push through and when it's time to back off.
Most of the time, the answer is to push though. But sometimes, the answer is indeed to back off.
Boston would not offer the option of deferral if the weather were calling for high winds, driving rain or snow. Runners run through that stuff and they suck it up. Heat is different. Heat can be deadly.
Most Boston marathoners are elite, hardened athletes. Most of them will run the race today and be fine. There are 5,000+ runners in Boston who are not seasoned marathoners. They got in the race for reasons other than qualifying - they raised money, they were given entry bibs etc. Many people will take 5+ hours to run. Many people have medical conditions. Many people are not conditioned to running in extreme heat in the middle of the day. Many people probably shouldn't run.
Last Friday, if they chose not to run, they had to walk away from their Boston dream. In other words, without the option of deferral, many people would chose to run, whether they should or not, because it might be their only chance.
On Saturday, that changed. Now they could make a decision based on knowing their fitness level and their ability to run a marathon in the heat. And they could decide knowing that there will be another chance to run Boston.
Personally, the thought of training for four months and then not running is heartbreaking. I trained for 3 1/2 months before I was forced to drop out of my marathon - and that broke my heart and nearly broke my spirit along with it. Imagine sitting in a hotel room in Boston yesterday trying to decide if you should run or not? Imagine wondering if running a marathon is worth the risk to your heart? To your body? Imagine going home and having to tell everyone you decided not to run after all? Imagine having to train all over again next year?
Most of the 25,000+ runners will be out there today despite the heat - and I will watch with respect and awe.
A few runners will have made a conscious choice not to run - and part of me will respect them even more than I respect the runners who are running. They chose their health over a race, the race of all races. They chose for themselves despite the little voice in their head saying 'suck it up it's Boston'.
To all Boston runners - those who are running and those who are not. You are all heroes today.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Pride (rawr!)
On Tuesday, Dave Hingsburger came to St. Catharines to speak about Disability Pride.
I first met Dave around this time last year when he and his partner Joe came to teach us how to teach others about abuse prevention. I wrote about that unforgettable experience here if you're interested.
Dave is a rare soul who challenges everyone he meets to look at the world through other people's eyes. The funny thing about Dave is that, even though his blog is the first thing I read every morning and even though I've had the opportunity to meet him a few times and interact with him over email - he surprises me every time I hear him speak.
When Dave is presenting, he always get there early. In fact, he's usually one of the first people in the room. He sets himself up at a table at the front with his notes and his tea (can't forget the tea!). He sits there quietly as the room fills with people. Sometimes people come up and quietly talk with him but, more often than not, he sits alone. Sometimes he looks up, sometimes he looks down. He always looks quiet and it's honestly hard to believe that he is the presenter. Hard to believe that, in a few more minutes, he's going to move people, anger people, make people laugh, cry and gasp in horror. Hard to believe that he's going to inspire several hundred people to take a look at themselves, at how they treat others and at how they want to be treated. Hard to believe he is, once again, going to challenge everyone to change the world.
Damn it, he surprises me every time.
He moves me every time.
He always makes me want to work harder and refuse to be complacent.
And I know what to expect from the man. I've heard him speak. I've read his stories.
On Tuesday, Dave spoke about disability pride.
He told some moving stories and made some very compelling arguments about how other groups of people have pride. Ever been to the Pride Parade in Toronto? I have, several times. Don't tell me they aren't proud of who they are.
Ever been to a multicultural celebration? I have. Don't tell me they aren't proud of who they are.
Dave argues that people with disabilities should be too. No more whispers of "he has Down Syndrome", no more whispers of "I work with people with disabilities". "ENOUGH!!" he roars. "We need to own this, we need to stand strong together, make change together and fight against hatred, prejudice and bigotry together!"
He's right, of course, and he's leading the movement.
And, once again, he's convinced this girl to join in the parade.
I first met Dave around this time last year when he and his partner Joe came to teach us how to teach others about abuse prevention. I wrote about that unforgettable experience here if you're interested.
Dave is a rare soul who challenges everyone he meets to look at the world through other people's eyes. The funny thing about Dave is that, even though his blog is the first thing I read every morning and even though I've had the opportunity to meet him a few times and interact with him over email - he surprises me every time I hear him speak.
When Dave is presenting, he always get there early. In fact, he's usually one of the first people in the room. He sets himself up at a table at the front with his notes and his tea (can't forget the tea!). He sits there quietly as the room fills with people. Sometimes people come up and quietly talk with him but, more often than not, he sits alone. Sometimes he looks up, sometimes he looks down. He always looks quiet and it's honestly hard to believe that he is the presenter. Hard to believe that, in a few more minutes, he's going to move people, anger people, make people laugh, cry and gasp in horror. Hard to believe that he's going to inspire several hundred people to take a look at themselves, at how they treat others and at how they want to be treated. Hard to believe he is, once again, going to challenge everyone to change the world.
Damn it, he surprises me every time.
He moves me every time.
He always makes me want to work harder and refuse to be complacent.
And I know what to expect from the man. I've heard him speak. I've read his stories.
On Tuesday, Dave spoke about disability pride.
He told some moving stories and made some very compelling arguments about how other groups of people have pride. Ever been to the Pride Parade in Toronto? I have, several times. Don't tell me they aren't proud of who they are.
Ever been to a multicultural celebration? I have. Don't tell me they aren't proud of who they are.
Dave argues that people with disabilities should be too. No more whispers of "he has Down Syndrome", no more whispers of "I work with people with disabilities". "ENOUGH!!" he roars. "We need to own this, we need to stand strong together, make change together and fight against hatred, prejudice and bigotry together!"
He's right, of course, and he's leading the movement.
And, once again, he's convinced this girl to join in the parade.
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