Every once in a while someone will write a blog about the silly, offensive, awful, judgemental, close-minded and hilarious things people say to us about diabetes.
As an alternative, here is my list of things I would love people to say to me:
- oh, you have the pump? I'm impressed that taking care of yourself is so important to you.
- you test your blood sugar 10-15 time A DAY??!? Wow, you really do try hard to take care of yourself. I am SO impressed.
- are you sure you should be eating that cupcake? Your blood sugar was really good when you checked it, why not have two cupcakes.
- you have diabetes? So did my grandmother. She lived to the ripe old age of 104, her eyes were great, she was still living on her own and still ran 5 kilometres a day, every day. She died bungee jumping.
- you have diabetes? You should try eating cinnamon - it's delicious. Especially when sprinkled on French toast with lots of maple syrup.
- I think diabetes is so sexy. There is just something really hot about people who have calloused fingers and infusion sites. I mean really really hot.
- I noticed that you just checked your bloodsugar. I totally understand how personal that is and would never dream of asking what your number was. I just wanted to tell you how awesome you looked while testing. Particularly when you sucked the extra blood off your fingertip. Rock on!
- You have diabetes. I bet Steel Magnolias really pissed you off eh? What an awful way to misrepresent diabetes. It did nothing to help educate people about what diabetes is really all about.
- You have diabetes. As your friend (co-worker, lover, partner etc), I really want to understand it so I can share it with you and be there to help if you need me to. Will you teach me what I need to know?
- You have diabetes? That means you can do ANYTHING you want to do.
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Friday, May 4, 2012
Twisted
When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, my glucometer seemed like such a nice chap. He would regularly greet me with a friendly 'Hi' when I checked my blood sugar.
These days, I still get the occasional 'Hi' but they're pretty few and far between. For the most part, he just quietly does his thing.
Ah yes - diabetes humour.
Those who get it, get it. Those who don't - well, just read it again a few times - you'll figure it out.
Like when you see a sign for diabetic chocolate and you feel bad for the poor little things. Who knew chocolate could even get diabetes?....ba dum tish!
I don't have a lot of diabetes jokes per se but I sure spend a lot of my time poking fun at the whole situation using my favourite kind of humour - the sick, twisted kind.
If someone complains about another person who is being a real jerk, I've been known to lean in and whisper "do you want to borrow my insulin needle? One little injection will solve all your problems. They won't even feel it..."
When my mother eyes the candy stash in my purse I always share with her with clear instructions "just leave enough for me so I don't die".
When my pump beeps and co-workers look at it with fear in their eyes, the looks on their faces can be pretty priceless when I respond with "omigod I'm dying!".
Even the other night when I headed out to the first T1 of Niagara meet up - never having seen these people before, I wanted to make sure I was at the right table. I knew without hesitation that, if I had picked the right group, they would totally laugh at the question "are you the folks with diabetes?".
They were and they did.
There's a certain dark humour that develops when you live your life with a chronic disease. Everyone I've met with T1 seems to have it.
I wonder...perhaps dark humour is one of the first diabetes complications that manifests itself after diagnosis? Maybe we've looked pain and death in the face one too many times and it's a little less scary when we can laugh at it. Maybe being twisted actually predisposes one to the 'betes.
Whatever the reason - it does help to make the dark times a little lighter. And it's super fun to throw zingers out there and have a table full of people laugh rather than look in horror.
We might not have a secret handshake but there are other ways we can find ourselves in a crowd.
These days, I still get the occasional 'Hi' but they're pretty few and far between. For the most part, he just quietly does his thing.
Ah yes - diabetes humour.
Those who get it, get it. Those who don't - well, just read it again a few times - you'll figure it out.
Like when you see a sign for diabetic chocolate and you feel bad for the poor little things. Who knew chocolate could even get diabetes?....ba dum tish!
I don't have a lot of diabetes jokes per se but I sure spend a lot of my time poking fun at the whole situation using my favourite kind of humour - the sick, twisted kind.
If someone complains about another person who is being a real jerk, I've been known to lean in and whisper "do you want to borrow my insulin needle? One little injection will solve all your problems. They won't even feel it..."
When my mother eyes the candy stash in my purse I always share with her with clear instructions "just leave enough for me so I don't die".
When my pump beeps and co-workers look at it with fear in their eyes, the looks on their faces can be pretty priceless when I respond with "omigod I'm dying!".
Even the other night when I headed out to the first T1 of Niagara meet up - never having seen these people before, I wanted to make sure I was at the right table. I knew without hesitation that, if I had picked the right group, they would totally laugh at the question "are you the folks with diabetes?".
They were and they did.
There's a certain dark humour that develops when you live your life with a chronic disease. Everyone I've met with T1 seems to have it.
I wonder...perhaps dark humour is one of the first diabetes complications that manifests itself after diagnosis? Maybe we've looked pain and death in the face one too many times and it's a little less scary when we can laugh at it. Maybe being twisted actually predisposes one to the 'betes.
Whatever the reason - it does help to make the dark times a little lighter. And it's super fun to throw zingers out there and have a table full of people laugh rather than look in horror.
We might not have a secret handshake but there are other ways we can find ourselves in a crowd.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
All Or Nothing
I often think that having a seven day week is rather inconvenient.
Especially when you have to (or want to) do something every second day.
Having an odd number of days in the week means that what you did on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday last week you will now be doing on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday this week.
Example:
I swim Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Those days never change and I like the predictability of that schedule.
Currently, my back to running program has me running every second day. Last week, I ran Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. It worked beautifully. I got out of bed every morning and did something. I showered, dressed, had breakfast and felt energized and ready to tackle the day.
Even if the day was spent reading on the couch.
This week, thanks to our seven day cycle, I have to run on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I am not going to give up my swimming on those days so now I am faced with a dilemma.
Do I swim, shower, come home and eat breakfast and then run later on in the day - only to have to shower a second time?
Do I swim, pull on running clothes, drive home, run, stretch, shower then have breakfast?
Do I drive my car to the pool at 5:45am, run for 17 minutes, stretch, then swim for an hour?
Two showers in one day makes for a lot of wet hair. Swimming for an hour + running and stretching means that breakfast won't be happening until 9am (even though I got up at 5:30).
None of these options are particularly appealing.
Neither is the idea of not doing anything on Tuesday and Thursday. I am under strict instructions to take rest days for running. I can't swim those days since the pool hours don't work for me. It's getting pretty cold out so cycling is not happening unless I want to get on my trainer in the spider infested, kinda musty basement. Even power walking needs to be limited because it's too much too soon for my recently healed stress fracture.
Only a few more weeks of tightly scheduled runs and then things lighten up a bit - in terms of schedule strictness.
Then I can happily swim Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Run Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. And luxuriate in bed on Sunday morning with a good book.
Speaking of books, I am in the middle of reading Tina Fey's book Bossypants and have put myself on restricted reading access. No reading in public. No reading when someone else is in the room. Most importantly, no reading when someone is lying in bed beside me.
This book is so ridiculously funny that I break into frequent bouts of hysteria (complete with tears running down my face and no-so-ladylike snorts). I put the book down, giggle like mad, finally gain some semblance of control, pick up the book and dissolve into hysteria again. And again. And again.
Gentlemen, I'm not sure how entertaining you'll find the book. Not because it's anti-men in any way - just because her stories are often about the craziness of being a woman (brick-sized maxi pads, trips to Korean-owned mani/pedi shops that are apparently the same anywhere you go etc etc). It is however a fascinating story to follow as Tina Fey learns improv, joins SNL and then goes on to 30 Rock.
Just don't read it alone on the subway.
Especially when you have to (or want to) do something every second day.
Having an odd number of days in the week means that what you did on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday last week you will now be doing on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday this week.
Example:
I swim Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Those days never change and I like the predictability of that schedule.
Currently, my back to running program has me running every second day. Last week, I ran Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. It worked beautifully. I got out of bed every morning and did something. I showered, dressed, had breakfast and felt energized and ready to tackle the day.
Even if the day was spent reading on the couch.
This week, thanks to our seven day cycle, I have to run on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I am not going to give up my swimming on those days so now I am faced with a dilemma.
Do I swim, shower, come home and eat breakfast and then run later on in the day - only to have to shower a second time?
Do I swim, pull on running clothes, drive home, run, stretch, shower then have breakfast?
Do I drive my car to the pool at 5:45am, run for 17 minutes, stretch, then swim for an hour?
Two showers in one day makes for a lot of wet hair. Swimming for an hour + running and stretching means that breakfast won't be happening until 9am (even though I got up at 5:30).
None of these options are particularly appealing.
Neither is the idea of not doing anything on Tuesday and Thursday. I am under strict instructions to take rest days for running. I can't swim those days since the pool hours don't work for me. It's getting pretty cold out so cycling is not happening unless I want to get on my trainer in the spider infested, kinda musty basement. Even power walking needs to be limited because it's too much too soon for my recently healed stress fracture.
Only a few more weeks of tightly scheduled runs and then things lighten up a bit - in terms of schedule strictness.
Then I can happily swim Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Run Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. And luxuriate in bed on Sunday morning with a good book.
Speaking of books, I am in the middle of reading Tina Fey's book Bossypants and have put myself on restricted reading access. No reading in public. No reading when someone else is in the room. Most importantly, no reading when someone is lying in bed beside me.
This book is so ridiculously funny that I break into frequent bouts of hysteria (complete with tears running down my face and no-so-ladylike snorts). I put the book down, giggle like mad, finally gain some semblance of control, pick up the book and dissolve into hysteria again. And again. And again.
Gentlemen, I'm not sure how entertaining you'll find the book. Not because it's anti-men in any way - just because her stories are often about the craziness of being a woman (brick-sized maxi pads, trips to Korean-owned mani/pedi shops that are apparently the same anywhere you go etc etc). It is however a fascinating story to follow as Tina Fey learns improv, joins SNL and then goes on to 30 Rock.
Just don't read it alone on the subway.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
The Dark Side
Do you know what I really like?
I like it when people recognize the seriousness of a situation and yet can still laugh about it. Gut busting belly laugh about it.
Not everyone knows this but I have a sarcastic, irreverant and often downright dark sense of humour. I normally tone it down a bit so that I don't horrify people.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling frisky, I'll toss out a random comment just to test the waters a bit.
Yesterday I was at a meeting in Hamilton. There were eight ladies there, myself included. We all have the same quality improvement type jobs in our respective agencies and we get together every three months to share resources, brainstorm and enjoy being in the company of other people who 'get it'.
At the end of the day, I was asked to do something for the next meeting. I joked and said no. One lady offered to bake me cookies if I would only agree. So I responded with "Oh right, feed cookies to the diabetic. Are you trying to kill me??"
Some people would have been horrified if I said that to them.
Others would have been horrified that I would joke about something sooooooo serious.
Not these ladies. Instead of horror, the entire room erupted in laugher and teasing comments. "Oh just pump some more drugs into your system. I saw you steal a cookie earlier and you're still alive. Just run around the block a few times." etc etc.
They all know what diabetes is. They know how serious it can be. And yet they all laughed and joked right along with me.
I love that.
You know what else I really appreciate? People who ask questions.
Some people watch me out of the corner of their eye when I check my sugar, push random buttons on my pump or pull out a bag of candies. Other people jump right in and ask questions. "Is that a pump? How does it work? Really, it's attached all the time?"
Yes, I will be the first to admit that some questions are frustrating.
"You're allowed to eat that?"
"Why do you have diabetes? I thought you were healthy?"
"So, your diabetes must have really been out of control if they put you on the pump."
It's frustrating because people often don't understand what diabetes is really all about. The questions that I get asked sometimes clearly show that and it's hard not to take the comments personally. But they're asking questions which is the most important part because it gets the dialogue going. And there is no such thing as a stupid question. So I answer them. Each and every one.
I hope that, by the end of the conversation, people know a little more about me and about diabetes. I hope that they understand a little more. And I hope that they won't be quite so horrified the next time I say "My sugar's 3.1. Anyone have anything they want to say to me in case I don't pull through?"
I like it when people recognize the seriousness of a situation and yet can still laugh about it. Gut busting belly laugh about it.
Not everyone knows this but I have a sarcastic, irreverant and often downright dark sense of humour. I normally tone it down a bit so that I don't horrify people.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling frisky, I'll toss out a random comment just to test the waters a bit.
Yesterday I was at a meeting in Hamilton. There were eight ladies there, myself included. We all have the same quality improvement type jobs in our respective agencies and we get together every three months to share resources, brainstorm and enjoy being in the company of other people who 'get it'.
At the end of the day, I was asked to do something for the next meeting. I joked and said no. One lady offered to bake me cookies if I would only agree. So I responded with "Oh right, feed cookies to the diabetic. Are you trying to kill me??"
Some people would have been horrified if I said that to them.
Others would have been horrified that I would joke about something sooooooo serious.
Not these ladies. Instead of horror, the entire room erupted in laugher and teasing comments. "Oh just pump some more drugs into your system. I saw you steal a cookie earlier and you're still alive. Just run around the block a few times." etc etc.
They all know what diabetes is. They know how serious it can be. And yet they all laughed and joked right along with me.
I love that.
You know what else I really appreciate? People who ask questions.
Some people watch me out of the corner of their eye when I check my sugar, push random buttons on my pump or pull out a bag of candies. Other people jump right in and ask questions. "Is that a pump? How does it work? Really, it's attached all the time?"
Yes, I will be the first to admit that some questions are frustrating.
"You're allowed to eat that?"
"Why do you have diabetes? I thought you were healthy?"
"So, your diabetes must have really been out of control if they put you on the pump."
It's frustrating because people often don't understand what diabetes is really all about. The questions that I get asked sometimes clearly show that and it's hard not to take the comments personally. But they're asking questions which is the most important part because it gets the dialogue going. And there is no such thing as a stupid question. So I answer them. Each and every one.
I hope that, by the end of the conversation, people know a little more about me and about diabetes. I hope that they understand a little more. And I hope that they won't be quite so horrified the next time I say "My sugar's 3.1. Anyone have anything they want to say to me in case I don't pull through?"
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