Healthy Travels - Day Two

Day Two of my hectic week and so far so good.

I managed to get myself into bed by 9pm. Didn't sleep straight through but did well considering I was away from home in an unfamiliar bed. I was up by 5:15 and downstairs at the hotel front desk by 5:40 asking for the key to the Fitness Closet. No one else was in there at the time so I hopped on the treadmill for 45 minutes. It took me a while to figure out the pace I needed since I'm not much of a treadmill runner but, once I found that happy balance between not going too slowly and not flying off the back end, I was golden.

5.4 seems to be the magic number - whatever that means.

By the end of the run I had burned 485 calories and run 3.85. I'm assuming that is 3.85 miles because that would be a rather embarrassing number of kilometres to cover in that time. 

I hopped off, spent a few minutes stretching and doing ab work on the fitness ball and then headed upstairs. We were meeting for breakfast at 7:45am so, at 7:30am, I bolused for my 5-minute oatmeal and heated it up in the microwave. I added my pomegranate seeds, dried cherries and spices and headed downstairs to join the others.

We ate and chatted and, by 8:15 I was heading back to my room to get ready. Rose started buzzing and I figured I was going low because of my run and pre-meal bolus.

Nope

I was 10.5 and climbing with double arrows up. Bah! By 8:30am I was 15 and still climbing. 8:45am I was 14.8 and steady but not dropping.

No site issues that I could tell. No miscalculation of carbs since it's a breakfast I am familiar with. Plus I ran for 45 minutes right before. I should be low if anything.

Anyone ever see a spike in blood sugar from running on a treadmill rather than outside?

I took a few conservative boluses plus a few rage ones to get me down to 5.6 before lunch. I bolused extra for that and yet, within 20m minutes, was double arrows up again heading for 15. I managed to bolus it back down again before dinner but this is not something that is usually a problem on a day when I exercise first thing. Very annoying.

Dinner was at a local pub so I chose the healthiest of the options. I also went for low carb since I wasn't in the mood to chase my blood sugars all night. Lots of water and no bedtime snack should hopefully help those nighttime numbers.

Wednesday morning's plan involves another trip to the Fitness Closet. I may try the elliptical this time since I haven't done that in about a decade. I may also hop back on the treadmill and see if I can beat my numbers from yesterday.

The gang decided to go out for breakfast because they thought the hotel breakfast left something to be desired. So much for my 5-minute oatmeal plan.

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry don't they?

Travel Plans

I'm leaving this afternoon and will be away for work until late Thursday afternoon. I do this probably twice every year. It's a great experience and one that I enjoy doing but these weeks tend to wreak havoc on my body and my blood sugar.

The days are long. As in 7am-11pm long.

The food is often not so healthy. As in we eat a hotel breakfast. Take out lunch. And restaurant dinner. For three days in a row. And finding a restaurant that suits all tastes usually means Swiss Chalet or Kelsey's-type food rather than the Korean, Thai or Sushi I often vote for.

I typicaly come home exhausted, with unhappy blood sugars and a rather crappy overall feeling due to lack of exercise.

Having done this several times now, I've learned a few tricks.

I called the hotel to find out what is in my room. I have a fridge and a microwave. Bonus. 

I asked what was in their fitness centre. They said an elliptical, a treadmill, a yoga mat and a fitness ball. Sounds more like a fitness closet to me but, whatever, it's something.

I have packed three changes of fitness clothes. One outdoor running outfit which I probably won't use because the hotel is on a highway-type road and the only time I can run is in the pitch black morning. Pitch black highway running on unfamiliar roads is not my idea of a safe and happy run but I'm bringing my stuff just in case. I'm planning to do something every morning before our 8am meetings and will probably end up doing it in the fitness closet. Treadmill run. Elliptical. Mock CoreFit class (oooh! maybe I should toss my weights in the car). Whatever. I'm moving my body every day.

I am bringing healthy food options. I have a container of pomegranate seeds, bananas and apples. I have a full container of kefir, some chia seeds, nuts (almonds, cashews and walnuts) as well as larabars. I plan to scout out the hotel breakfast and then bring my own stuff to the table to increase the health quotient a bit. I also packed some rolled oats and almond milk in the off chance that I can make my breakfast in my room and then meet up with the team afterwards for coffee.

I will still come home tired and worn out but I'm hoping I'll also come home feeling better than expected because I ate well and made time to move my body a bit.

Wish me luck!

(oh, and don't be surprised if I don't write much, if at all. It's gonna be one of those weeks).

Hurry up eh?

Some days I have time for diabetes.

I have time to cajole the high blood sugars back into range with hourly tests and reasonable boluses.

I have time to bolus ten minutes before a meal to allow the insulin a head start.

I have time to test every waking hour of the day in order to stay on top of things and try to prevent the diabetes gods from getting a foothold.

Those are the days when I'm willing to deal with the never-ending highs that won't budge. I'm not happy about them but I deal with them by the book.

Other days I don't have time for diabetes. And I have even less time for following the rules.

Don't get me wrong. I always make time for the essentials. I test before meals. I test when I feel off. I carb count. I bolus. I test two hours after eating.

The difference is that I cross my fingers that the numbers are where they should be because I'm testing at a red light, one minute before I walk into yet another two hour meeting. I'm testing in the parking lot of a high school right before I walk in to a meeting with five teachers, two behaviour therapists and a host of other people. I'm testing as I walk out the door, bolusing on the way to the car and eating my sandwich and apple as I drive to the next meeting.

The last few weeks have been like that and the next few weeks will be the same, or worse. I run from meeting to meeting, eating lunch on the fly On the surface it's all good. I'm eating healthy meals - albeit in the car. I'm testing. I'm bolusing. I'm correcting.

But the only reason it's working is because, most days, the diabetes gods behave. Sure they have their mini tantrums. But overall they listen and do what they're told with a minimum of threats.

It's times like these when I realize how much I'm looking forward to getting the Dexcom. I can't wait for a time when I can glance down at a screen and have a sense of what my blood sugar is doing...instead of wondering if now is a good time to reach under the table, root around through my purse,  and dig out my glucometer - trying not to draw attention to myself.

I do what I need to do but it will be nice when I have a little device that helps me do it on those days when things are a little too hectic.

I'm guessing it won't be long before I can't imagine a life without it.

Hurry up Dex. Canada is waiting...

When it is Better Not to Know?

As some of you know I work with adults who have a developmental disability. I work with them but I also work with families of adults who have a developmental disability. And I work with other agencies who support adults with a developmental disability.

Oh, and I also work with foster children who have a developmental disability. And their foster parents. And their caseworkers. 

Basically, I work with a lot of people. 

I like to think of myself as a realist and I firmly believe that it's usually better to know than not to know something. 

Not always, but usually. 

So what would YOU do if you were meeting with a child (and by child I mean 17 years old) for the first time and they have no idea that they have a disability? I don't know this of course and when I tell him that I work with people who have disabilities, he looks shocked and asks if he has one. 

And then I got to watch his worker awkwardly try to explain without actually saying that he has a disability. 

Afterwards his worker apologized and said that she just couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. "He's just such a nice kid" she said. 

To which I replied "yes he is, and he has the right to know". 

This is not the first time I've experienced this. I've met several parents who asked me not to tell their adult child that they have a disability. 

Really!?! 

That's kinda like not telling someone they have diabetes. Just telling them that they're lucky because they get to have an injection every time they eat anything. 

Look, I'm the first person to tell you that labels should not define you. Nor should they set limits for you.  

But labels help us understand ourselves and each other sometimes. Hearing the word 'diabetes' was pretty scary and overwhelming but it sure helped me focus on what I needed to do. And it helped me understand how I needed to do it. 

To me, it's just plain wrong to withhold information in order to 'protect' someone. The truth is always the best way to go. 

Non?

That Sucks

As many of you know, I work with adults who have a developmental disability.

I love my job.

Many people I serve don't talk a whole lot. Or they say things in a way that doesn't quite make sense...to me at least. But most of the time, if you listen closely enough, they are bang on in the way they can summarize life.

Last night, we had a baby shower for one of our employees. The room was packed with staff and people using services. One guy came up to me and pointed to my pump.

"Whazzat?" he said.

"It's my insulin pump. I have diabetes" I replied.

"Why?" he asked.

"I have no idea" I answered.

"That sucks" he said and walked away.

Pretty much summarizes it doesn't it?

Type 1 diabetes - we can guess why we have it but no one really knows. Was it the result of my horrible car accident? Was it genetic? Did I do something to get it? There is no way to know but, whatever the reason, it totally sucks.

But it sucks in a way that's not really worth stressing about. It's not like how losing your wallet totally sucks. Or getting stuck in an elevator totally sucks. This totally sucks for the long haul so we just get used to the fact that it totally sucks and then carry on.

I'll let you all in on a little secret. Do you remember how last week I mentioned that I was chosen as one of this year's Global Heroes? Well, I received an email on Monday with a list of questions they wanted me to answer about my running, my diabetes, my insulin pump and what inspires me. One of the questions asked was: what I would say to someone whose life has been affected by a condition similar to mine?

I thought for a few minutes and came up with this: Use diabetes as a motivator not an excuse and you'll be amazed where it can take you.

So yeah, it totally sucks.

What are YOU going to do about it?

Conversation Café

Last November my friend Kate emailed me. She works at Brock University in Community Learning which is a program that offers learning opportunities for everyone in the community to enjoy. One of the things that they do is organize Conversation Cafés. Conversation Cafés are created to encourage discussion and learning.  They are based on the principle that no one person has all the answers and that the knowledge of the group is much more rich than the knowledge of a single person.  Each Café is held at a local coffee shop and each Café has a different topic to be discussed. The conversation is run by a moderator and a guest with knowledge about the topic is invited to attend. The guest presents an overview of the topic and then participates in the conversation.

Next Tuesday, March 6th, there is a Conversation Café on the following topic:

How can we support the full inclusion of all people, including those with a developmental disability, in our community?

We all want safety, security, happiness and health. We all want the right to choose how we live out our lives. Being recognized as an individual and having the opportunity to make a valuable contribution is important to every person. Often however, people with a developmental disability can feel like they are on the outside of the community, looking in. In this public discussion, we explore how to create a community that welcomes all members.

Since I work with people who have a developmental disability, Kate asked me to review her summary to make sure it made sense. I made a few edits and sent it back with my approval.

She then asked me if I'd be willing to be the guest at the event.

I'm not a big fan of doing presentations and I'm certainly not a big fan of talking in front of a room full of strangers.  But I am a big fan of a good conversation and I am an even bigger fan of doing things that scare me so I agreed.

I just found out that my night is March 6th so I have a week to get my thoughts in order and be ready to talk for ten minutes about what community inclusion really means.  And what a disability label really means.  And what discrimination means.

In order to prepare myself I have been having little imaginary conversations in my head.  I imagine a conversation where people are asking me questions or challenging things I have said. In my head, I say my part first and then I try to think about what someone else might say to me so I can figure out how I might respond. 

Here's how one of these imaginary conversations went.  

Me: "people with developmental disabilities live in the community but they are not always part of the community. For example, if you or I wanted to join a bowling league, we would go to our local bowling alley and sign up.  If someone with a developmental disability wants to join a bowling league, they are told to join the Special Olympics bowling league. "

Other person: "Well, what's wrong with that? Joining Special Olympcis means that they get to be with other people just like them."

Me: "Just because people share the same label of 'disability' doesn't mean that they are all the same and that they are going to be friends with other people with that label.  I have Type 1 diabetes but, if I wanted to join a bowling league, that doesn't mean I'm going to go find a Type 1 diabetic bowling league.  People shouldn't be clumped together because they have the same label.  They should be able to be with people who share similar interests. "

No offense to all the other T1s out there but I just don't think I want to join a bowling league where I have to be with you just because our pancreases don't work.  We are more than our diabetes right?  I'll hang out with people with diabetes when I want to be part of that community. But I won't seek them out when I want to be part of the bowling community.  

Anyway, I've got my rough draft written for my presentation which leaves me with a few days to ruminate on it.  I've already made Doug pretend to be my audience once and I suspect he's going to be hearing it a few more times before the big night.  And if anyone is free next Tuesday night and wants to be part of the conversation - come on out! 

How To Support Me

Last week, during our staff training weeks, we spent two days learning about person-centred thinking.

 

We learned all sorts of tips and tools to help us get a better understanding about the things that are really important to a person as well as the things that are really important for a person.  Because, you see, those things can be quite different.

 

Some things like running, sleep and diabetes management are important to me and they are also important for me.  Other things, like wearing sensible shoes every day, are important for me but, let's be honest, it annoys me to no end to wear running shoes every day - with every outfit.  And then there are things like red wine, blogging, lazy mornings in bed and fuzzy socks that are important to me, regardless of whether or not they are important for me.

 

One tool that I really resonated with during our training was called the One Page Summary.  Not a very catchy name but it was a pretty effective tool.  You see, where I work, we support people with a developmental disability.  Not everyone we serve is able to tell us who they are as a person, what is important to them, how to best support them, and what makes them happy.  So we use a combination of guesswork, experience, intuition and voodoo to figure those things out.  Once we've figured out some of these things, the trainers suggested that we create a One Page Summary.  The summary would typically include a photo (or photos) of the person and would provide a quick overview of who they are.  The headings are: what people like and admire about me, what is important to me and how to support me.  The information provided allows other people to read it and get an idea about who the person really is.  This tool has proven to be very effective in our field but also in other places like hospitals, retirement homes, long-term care facilities, hospices etc.  It speaks for a person when they can't always speak for themselves.

 

It got me thinking about my own One Page Summary and what should be on it.  Here's what I came up with.

 

Who I am and what is important to me: 

• I love to run and swim.
• I have type one diabetes and wear an insulin pump.
• I love reading books and I love talking about them.  If you want to make me happy, ask me lots of questions about what I'm reading.
• I love movies.  Don't talk to me about it before I go see it but, once I've watched right 'til the end, take me for coffee or wine and let's discuss.
• I love to cook and try new recipes but I always worry that what I made doesn't have enough flavour.  Don't lie to me if it's bland - just tell me and I'll add flavour if I can.
• My parents, my sisters and my grandmother mean the world to me and there isn't much I wouldn't do for them.
• I love Doug very much.  So much that I let him take care of me (which is really hard for me to do).  Since he walked into my life it has become about as close to perfect as it can get.
• I like to watch curling on television.
• I love CBC radio one.
• I love photography (taking pictures, looking at pictures, camera equipment - anything to do with photography is wicked).
• I hate loud music, loud television and loud noises of any kind.
• Chocolate, peanut butter, pomegranates, plain yogurt and red wine are my favourite foods (and drinks).

 

How to support me: 
When you find out that I have Type 1 Diabetes, do not say:

• "Oh, you have the bad kind" 
• "Oh, but I thought you were healthy" 
• "What did you do to get it?"
• "Yes but there's a cure right?" (ummm yes, I'm just wearing the pump 'cause I think it's cool)
• "Omigod I could never give myself needles, if I got diabetes I just would die." 
• "My grandmother had diabetes.  She lost her leg, went blind and was on dialysis.  She's dead now."
• "I saw Steel Magnolias.  Are you as bad as her?  She died you know?"  
• "Can you eat that?" 
• "Are you sure you should be eating that?"  
• "Have you tried cinnamon?  That's supposed to cure diabetes."
• "So, now that you take insulin you are completely under control right?"
• "Oh, you're on the pump? That must mean your diabetes is really out of control."
• "You've had it for ten years?  And you still have it?" 

When I check my blood sugar, please do not hover over me trying to see the number.  It's really none of your business.  Only a very privileged few get unfettered access to my blood sugar results.  The rest of you do not.  If that feels hurtful, imagine the feeling of me standing by your bathroom scale as you step on to it in the morning.  Do you really want an audience?

 

When I check my blood sugar, do not ask me what the number is in front of a group of people.  I will always respond with the same answer "it's fine" whether I'm 2.4 or 22.4.  Don't ask in front of people.  Again, if you think I'm being rude, just imagine me asking you in front of a group of people "so, did you weight yourself this morning?  What was the number?"

 

If you have honest to goodness questions about diabetes: what causes it, how to manage it, what I can and cannot do, how my pump works, how running affects it etc etc, please ask.  I am always happy to explain and to educate. But for goodness sakes, don't say ridiculous things like "well, you probably got it because you ate too much candy as a child".  There is no telling when it will happen but, at some point, I may go postal.  If your question is the once that puts me over the edge - I may kill you...

 

...and I will blame it on low blood sugar...

 

...because we all know that low blood sugar causes diabetic people to act drunk and belligerent. Since I cannot be responsible for my actions it won't be my fault.

 

Training Weeks

Most weeks are pretty predictable in terms of their activities and their level of stress and busy-ness.  During predictable weeks, getting my exercise in is half about pure enjoyment and half about staying healthy.  I love working out and I am happy to make time every day to do it.

This week and next are NOT typical weeks.  Here's the story.  Three years ago, it was decided at work that we would organize staff training weeks.  Two weeks, back to back, where we would offer a lot of the mandatory training that all employees require (First Aid, CPR, Non-Violent Crisis Intervention, rights training etc).  We would also offer training that, while not mandatory, would certainly be beneficial for everyone.  The idea was that we would create two identical weeks of training.  Half of the staff would attend the first week.  The other half would attend the second.  It allowed us to train a lot of people very quickly.  It allowed people from different programs to have a chance to mingle and share ideas.  It allowed us to keep all of our programs running during the training. It was, and is, a really good idea.

The task of planning these weeks fell squarely on my shoulders.  Creating the schedule, booking the trainers, planning and running full and half day sessions myself, planning meals, conducting evaluations and dealing with unexpected events (can you say blizzard?).  It was a lot of work and ended up being really stressful to coordinate (again - blizzard).

The first year, I was pretty stressed.  In fact, it was one of the most stressed times in recent memory.  I woke up on the morning of the first day to discover that several blood vessels had burst in my right eye.  One of the staff, a nurse, promptly announced that it was due to stress and said it would go away in a few days.  It did but, in the meantime, I looked like I had been in a nasty fight.  I also, by about day three, caught a nasty cold which made presenting for 8 hours straight a bit of a challenge.

I decided that I never wanted to be that stressed again.  Particularly about something work-related like that.

Year two, it was a lot better because I knew more what to expect.  I had worked out a lot of the kinks the year before but it was still pretty overwhelming and exhausting.

We're now into week one of year three.  This year, I am determined to take care of myself so I can finish the ten days feeling sane and relatively rested.

That's where exercise comes in.  Normally, I would lapse in my fitness routine in an effort to conserve energy.  Sacrifice the workouts so I could keep my energy for the training days. What I found was that I did not get more rest or sleep by not exercising - all I did was fill the hours I would normally be exercising with something else I had to do.  So I was stressed, tired and feeling decidedly unfit by the end.  On top of that, we sit around a lot during training weeks so my blood sugar tends to climb due to lack of activity.  Not good.

My fitness routine, which normally keeps my happy and healthy, will, for the next two weeks, help keep me sane and grounded.

Monday morning, I was at the pool at 6am.  I still had a lot to do before 9am and I was facing a long day of training.  It was tempting to get an extra hour of sleep.  Instead I chose to swim 80 lengths and am very glad I did.  I felt energized all day - there was no mid-afternoon slump - and my blood sugar ran a little higher than normal but not the usual craziness that comes from sitting all day.

So Monday, Wednesday and Friday - I'll be at the pool the moment it opens.  Tuesday and Thursday - I'll look forward to a run right after work.  Repeat again next week and I will have survived my third annual staff training weeks.

Bring it on!

My Vision

I don't talk a lot about work on my blog.  Partly because that's not what I want to blog about but mostly because I work in a field where confidentiality and privacy are absolutely key.  I work with adults who have a developmental disability and I would never dream about exposing any part of their lives for the sake of a blog entry.

There are days however when what I do gets me thinking and I feel the need to share a tiny bit of that part of my life.  Today's blog uses work as a jumping off point.

We do this thing at work where we help people using our services figure out what their vision for their life is and then we work with them to come up with a plan for how to achieve (or at least get closer to) that vision.

Visions (or dreams) can be as lofty or as far out as the person wants.  Vision statements have been things like: "I want to make my own decisions about the support I receive".  "I want to be surrounded by people who love and care for me".  Pretty powerful words from people who sometimes require twenty-four hour support and spend most of their days with paid staff.

Once a person has a vision, our job is to help them break the vision down into goals that are S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, accountable, realistic and time-limited). Work on one (or a few) at a time and it's amazing how far people can come.  I've known people who lived in 24-hour support for decades whose vision was to live independently one day.  Bit by bit, goal by goal, they learned what they needed to learn to be independent.

One of my responsibilities at work is to meet with staff as they work through this goal/vision process and provide guidance, suggestions and a lot of encouragement.  I spent a lot of time explaining what a vision is versus what a short term goal is.  In doing that, I pick examples from my own life because that's what I can relate to.

I explain that a vision is something that we always strive for but never really reach.  It's like that mirage in the desert that keeps us moving forward.

The vision I always use when I'm teaching people is: "I want to be as healthy as I can be".

I think it's a fair statement because it's something that keeps me moving forward but yet something I will never reach because, let's face it, I can always be healthier.

Then I give examples of all the different things I do to help me get a little bit closer to my vision.  I make goals like: I want an A1C of 6.9.  I want to run a marathon.  I want to lose 10 pounds and keep it off.  I want to get eight hours of sleep every night.  I want to find a work-life balance that works for me.

And on and on it goes.

S.M.A.R.T. goals that all lead back to my vision.

When it boils right down to it - that's my life in one sentence.

I want to be as healthy as I can be.

Sure I drink too much wine.  Eat too much chocolate.  Drink too much coffee.

Sure there are lots of things I choose to do that don't directly affect my ability to be as healthy as I can be.

But there is no other theme that has a much impact on my daily choices than my health.

More importantly, my drive to be as healthy as I can be.

Because I may never achieve a goal of being 'healthy'.  That's like trying to be perfect.

But I can always be healthier.

And, as life goes on and diabetes continues to rage its war on my body, complications may arise.

Yet the vision will still hold true - no matter what my future health challenges are - I can always try my best to be as healthy as I can be.

I think I've come up with a pretty good vision.

What's yours?

A Culture of Wellness

I seem to be the go to fitness girl at work.  Maybe it's because I'm always in running shoes...

...or maybe it's the marathon training schedule and 26.2 sticker taped up in my office...but people often want to talk to me about health and fitness.  I love that and will stop pretty much anything I'm doing to chat about recipes or workouts.

Sometimes people want to talk about all the great stuff that they are doing for themselves.

Lately though, the conversations have focused more on the struggles.  The struggle to lose weight or feel better.  The struggle to stick to a healthy diet when people keep bringing unhealthy food to work.  So many people in one workplace who are struggling with the same issues.  And yet they all feel very alone.

Alone in their struggle.

Alone in their depression.

Their frustration.

Their guilt.

It got me thinking about our running group.  The group is made up of people of all shapes and sizes.  All ages.  All levels of fitness. All economic levels and all different stages in life.  We about bound together by a common goal - to run.  The reasons why we run are as numerous as the people themselves. And we've all discovered that it's easier to do it with a group of like-minded people.  They motivate us when we need it and we motivate them back when it's our turn.

That's what I want to create at work.  A place where the default lunch at meetings isn't pizza and croissants.  A place where people feel motivated and empowered to start a walking group and where people feel confident enough to join the group.  Where people want to sign up for the dragon boat team.  Or any other countless number of things that gets people moving, motivated and eating better. 

I want to create a place where making time for health and wellness is the norm - not the exception.

I'm just not sure how to do it.

Does anybody out there have ideas or suggestions of how to create a culture of wellness at work?

Today's blog was inspired by Michelle my workplace wellness guru who asked me one simple question on Monday that has had me thinking ever since. Damn you!

The Running Bug

Run for your lives!

Running, as it turns out, is extremely contagious.  A few years ago, I caught a bad dose of it when I got too close to a bunch a runners in Ottawa.  They were taking part in the Run for the Cure 5k and, not knowing how dangerous it was, I neglected to use universal precautions and caught the running bug.

I caught it bad and I now have two chronic conditions: Type 1 diabetes and running. 

The running bug is a sly little thing.  Sometimes it jumps out of the bushes and launches a full on attack but other times it waits in hiding for just the right moment to pounce. It’s been incubating for a while but it turns out that I may have infected my workplace.  At first it seemed like everyone I work with was immune.  It didn’t matter what I did, no one else seemed to catch it.  But then one person came down with it. And another. Then a third.  Now there is a small but growing number of people who seem to have been infected.  

Sometimes, people get sick for a while, recover and go on with their pre-running lives. 

Other times, people develop a chronic running condition that makes them want to run in all weathers, constantly pushing themselves to run farther and faster.

At work, we’ve formed a bit of a support group.  Sometimes we exchange email updates commiserating about the cold, the heat, the humidity, how long we’ve run or how hard the hill was.  Other times, someone will saddle up next to me at the photocopier and whisper: “I’ve started running!” “I’m not very good and not very fast but I love it!”  I’ve received out of the blue phone calls from people asking for advice on how to start and then follow up calls with updates on how they’re doing.

One co-worker burst into my office this morning and announced that she ran the equivalent of four times around a track! And felt fabulous!  She was so excited and couldn’t wait to share the news with someone who ‘gets it’.

Running is one badass bug so be warned.  Once bitten, you’ll never be the same.

All the World's a Stage

I hosted a meeting today that I really enjoyed and it got me thinking.  Thinking about the roles we play in this crazy theatre of life.

The meeting was with a group of ladies who all have a similar job to mine.  The thing that ties us most closely together is that, in our respective agencies, we are the only ones who have that job.  We do not have a team of colleagues that we can turn to for support, advice or the occasional griping session.  We often work in isolation and most people in our agencies don't quite understand what we do.

Put us together in a room and it's absolutely cathartic.  To be with people who understand, really understand, is such a gift.

And it got me thinking about the roles we play.  As I started thinking about them, it began to feel like we just spend our lives moving from one stage to another.  Not that I'm acting, or lying about who I am, just that I can't be everything for every person.  It doesn't make sense to live life that way.

At home I am the loving partner, the unconditional friend, the kitchen mate and midnight confidante.  At work, I am the rights advocate, staff trainer, accreditation queen and policy girl.  There is very little overlap between those two worlds.  I don't want there to be.  But I also think that people from one world would be surprised to see me in the other.  In many ways, I would be a stranger.

At the diabetes centre, I am the healthy, happy, active runner.  They know nothing about my job, my love of cooking or the fact that I'm really into curling.  At the running group, I'm the girl with the insulin pump who is slow but getting faster and who does a lot of the really long runs on her own.  I am the big sister who gets the jokes and understands the traditions.  I am the eldest daughter who helps solve computer problems, loves Sunday dinners and occasionally makes shocking announcements.  At the bank, I am the competent customer with a good credit rating and at the bulk food store I am the quiet girl who buys a whole lot of dates, peanut butter and raisins.

I have some friends with whom I share a love of photography, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, of the Outlander books or of red wine.  I have some friends who share medical adventures, a love of Northern Ontario camping, a passion for theatre or an interest in biology. I am always me but I am always different.  Everyone knows a part but no one knows the whole person.

We share what makes sense in each world that we're in.  There is no point in talking about Buffy at home, the conversation would be rather one-sided.  I'm not going to talk about policy development with my running group, they don't care.  In each of our worlds, we find the common ground and build from there.

So today I spent the day with a group of ladies who know me like no one else does.  It was nice.

Tonight, I'm spending the evening with the man who knows me like no one else does.  That will also be nice.

Tomorrow, the next day and the day after that, I will spend time with people who know me as no one else does.

I wonder, if you put them all together, what I would look like.

The Yoga Approach

I have a pile of vacation to use up before March 31st.  I thought about taking a week off and, trust me, it was pretty tempting.  A week to play, try new recipes, sleep in, go for runs in the middle of the afternoon, meet my mom for lunch and just not think about work.  Nothing to complain about there.

Instead, I opted for taking seven Fridays off. 

Typically, I prefer big chunks of time off but, for some reason, the idea of having four day weeks for almost two months was pretty appealing. So today is the first day of my first four day week.  Pretty freaking exciting!

By noon, I was already starting to second-guess my decision. 

First of all, I found out about a fabulous videoconference being offered by Dave Hingsburger, an amazing disability advocate.  It's called Pride and Prejudice: Getting Past Shame, Moving Into Rights.  I would love to attend but guess when it's being offered?  That's right - this Friday. 

Then I got involved in a discussion about how to revamp our system for tracking staff training.  It's a discussion that is long overdue and a lot of decisions need to be made in order to develop a system that will be effective, meet all of my requirements as the Quality Control girl and be easy for staff to update.  No time to finish the discussion until, you guessed it, Friday.

I have to reschedule a CPR refresher that staff missed because of last week's snow day.  The only dates that work for everyone are Fridays. 

*sigh*

When I have a week off, I find it really easy to just waltz out the door and not look back. 

I'm discovering that taking one day off a week may prove to be a challenge.  When you're already used to working Fridays, it's easier to be convinced to come in to the office...just for a bit.

A few weeks back, I wrote about life life balance - trying to balance all of the people, interests and activities in my life.  I'm guessing that the next seven weeks will be more of a work life balance struggle for me.  Do I preserve my time off, refusing to come in on a Friday even if it means missing important meetings or key training opportunities?  Or should I be willing to come in on days off if it means learning something new or being part of important decisions? 

I want to stick to my guns and not set foot in the office on a Friday until my vacation runs out.  And yet, people who see the world in black and white drive me batty so I should probably strive to be a little more flexible in my approach rather than walking around refusing to budge on the Friday thing. 

On the other hand, it wouldn't be too hard to be convinced to come in every Friday because there will always be something that just HAS to get done...

Balance is never an easy thing to achieve, especially when new, unexpected and often attractive variables are thrown in to the mix.  I think I'll try taking the yoga approach: flexibility, strength and balance. Flexibility to adapt to unexpected changes + strength to stand up and say no when necessary + balance to make sure I don't fall too far on either side of the work/life line.

Wish me luck!

Life life balance

Work life balance is a concept that I have always found compelling and one that comes fairly naturally to me.  I pride myself on the fact that I work to live, I don't live to work.  Don't misunderstand: I love what I do and I feel that my job is meaningful and important and I believe that I contribute positively to many peoples' lives. 

But it's my job.  

I get to work at 8:29am and leave at 4:30pm.  I hop in my car and, most days, promptly forget where I work until the next morning.  

My personal life is chock full of activities that I want to do, books that I want to read, people that I want to spend time with.  

Work life balance I have in spades.  

It's the life life balance that I'm struggling with.  

Years ago, I decided that I wanted to be a renaissance woman.  Someone who knew a lot about a lot of things and who participated in a wide variety of activities.  Someone who could just as easily fix your car as whip up a gourmet supper all without breaking a sweat.  I am not a renaissance woman quite yet but I'm working on it.  I know where the oil goes in the car now, have helped build a deck and make a mean hot and sour soup.  

Maintaining a life life balance is proving to be a bit of a challenge because there are so many things that I love to do.  These days, I run, cycle and curl with a bit of yoga thrown in.  My body is most certainly being challenged.  My mind - well not so much.  I have not been taking as many pictures, have not read as many books and have not taken a course in a while.  

I feel sluggish when I don't exercise.  My mind gets to be the same way.  

So, I've started blogging as a way of exercising my writing muscles.  I have a pile of new books by the bed to kick start my imagination and get me thinking.  Next step - dust off the camera. 

After I get my run in of course!