My dear pancreas,
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately and wanted to say hi. I miss you. I know I didn’t pay much attention to you when I was younger. I admit that I didn’t really appreciate our relationship. In fact, I completely took you for granted. For that, I am so very sorry.
It was only when we started having problems that I realized how much I really needed you. But by then, it was too late. You were leaving and there was nothing I could do to make you stay. I was left frightened and feeling very alone.
It has been almost nine years since we’ve been together. A lot has happened since then. I want you to know that I’m doing fine. More than fine actually. At first, I worried that you left because of something I did. Perhaps if I had been better somehow you would have stayed. I now know that is not the case. There was nothing I could have done differently, nothing that would have changed the fact that you had to go. I’ve made my peace with that and I hope you are happy with your choices too.
Don’t worry, I am not angry or hurt. But I do miss you.
I want you to know that your leaving changed my life…for the better.
When you left, I grew strong and brave. I learned to question the choices I had made and understood how fragile life can be. I learned the importance of living for today and made changes to my life that I would not have had the courage to make when you and I were together. My life today is rich, challenging and full of love.
Ironically, I am much healthier now. I take really good care of myself and am surrounded by people who do the same. I am not afraid of being selfish – I have learned to say no. I choose things that make me feel good and avoid things that don’t.
Did you hear? I’m getting ready to start training for a marathon! How crazy is that? Do you remember when you and I used to work out together? A walk here, a step class there, some weights at the gym – that was it. You wouldn’t recognize me now - I would totally kick your ass.
Honestly, if you and I were still together, I would not be who I am today. Every brave, life-changing choice I ever made, I made after you left.
I am grateful for the time we did have together. Some people are not nearly as lucky as you and I were. We had 28 wonderful years and for that I will be forever grateful. As for what the future holds, I know very well how impossible that is to predict. We shall see won’t we?
Take care of yourself my friend. I will do the same.