That little voice

As part of our training for Around the Bay our running coach has graciously agreed to open his running store at 8am on Sunday mornings so that we can drag in our road bikes and trainers for an hour of 'spinning'.  Yesterday was our first day. A small but dedicated group of runners came out and we had fun and a great workout. 

It has been a few months since I've been on my bike and almost a year since I cycled indoors on my trainer.  As a type 1 diabetic, any change in activity necessitates a change in insulin rates.  I've mastered, as much as that's even possible, what I need to do when running.  I lower my basal rate to 60% an hour and a half before I run.  I adjust my bolus if I'm eating before I go and the amount I adjust it by is almost intuitive now based on how I'm feeling, how far I"m running, what the weather is etc etc etc.

Cycling is another passion of mine but one that is done with much less regularity. So the insulin rate learning curve continues.  I did what I used to do in the summer and was fairly conservative with my breakfast bolus.  My guess was pretty close but not quite good enough.  I finished the session with a blood glucose level that was too low.  So I treated it and went on with my day but ended up chasing lows for the rest of the day *sigh*. 

Some days, it's no big deal.  Other days, it is.  I've been feeling a little overwhelmed at the training that lays ahead. Add to it the fact that diabetes control is an imperfect science and the little voice in my head asked me why I bother.  It's the same voice that tries to convince me to stop running the minute things feel hard.  I worked hard at taming that voice this fall and am much better at ignoring it during long hard runs.  So last night, I told the voice to go to hell, poured myself a glass of wine and picked up my book. 

This morning, all is back to normal and I'm already looking forward to a nice yoga session tonight to prepare my legs for the week ahead.  And next Sunday, I'll get back on that bike.