We had a lot of discussion, most of it pretty frank and some of it pretty difficult. The facilitator, who never pulls punches, forced us to look at the expectations we put on ourselves as well as the expectations we force upon others and how destructive that can be.
"100% compassion" she said.
"I have no doubt that you all have 100% compassion for the adults with disabilities that you support every day and yet most of you seem to have much less for the people you work with."
"If you can find a way to have that same level of compassion for the people you work with, if you treat them with the same respect and the same understanding, it would make a world of difference."
I could see from the looks on people's faces that some of them agreed and some of them...not so much.
The other message?
You are 100% responsible for your actions and your reactions. You have no responsibility whatsoever for the actions and reactions of others.
I think that's one of those things that, once someone figures it out, their life immediately becomes less stressful, people become less annoying and most of the problems that arise in workplaces go away.
100% compassion...for 100% of people.
Choose how you react to situations. No one 'makes you angry'. You choose to respond to a situation with anger.
It's a simple concept but it's not an easy one.
I've been working at it for years now and I can tell you with all honestly that it's worth the effort.