I woke up Thursday morning and my brain had made a decision for me during the night.
I woke up Thursday morning and it told me clearly and with no hesitation - you are not running the marathon.
Stop agonizing about it - stop thinking about it - give it up and move on. Heal thyself and try again in the spring.
I spent the day getting used to the idea. Thinking about how hard it was going to be to tell people. Tearing up during computer training at work.
It was rather pathetic actually.
I went to see Geoff as planned after work. I told him about the latest attempt at a 10k which bombed and became a 6k. I told him where the pain was and how things were feeling.
And he said that was great! He said it sounded like my original soft tissue problem seemed to be almost gone and that the pain I was having sounded like my shins acting up.
He taped my shin for a long run and told me to give'er on Saturday. Run around your neighbourhood for as long as you can without blowing up. Ten, fifteen, twenty kilometres. Whatever works.
Next week I have exactly zero treatments booked with Geoff.
Not out of the woods yet but I'm glad I didn't take my training schedule off my chalkboard in the kitchen.
There might still be some life left in this runner girl.
Cross your fingers everyone.