Not Worth it Sometimes

I like treats. I like desserts and chocolates and pies and cakes and ice cream. I'm not one who worries too much about how many treats I have - but I do think a lot about when I have them.

Because sometimes they end up being a lot of trouble and are just not worth it.

If I'm going to have a slice of pie before bed, my sugar had better be on the low side. If it's in the normal range or, heaven forbid, too high and I bolus for pie and then go to bed, one of two things are going to happen.

1. I will miscalculate for the pie and take too little insulin. I won't realize this because I will be asleep but I will wake up in the morning desperately thirsty having dreamt crazy dragon dreams all night and I will see a number like 14 mmol/l (260 mg/dl) staring back at me from my glucometer. 
2. I will miscalculate for the pie and take too much insulin. I will wake up two hours later in a complete sweat and have to suck back two juice boxes and perhaps some fruit chews. This is very annoying AND having two juice boxes and some candy on top of the piece of pie means I ate way more calories than I wanted to eat. 

So basically, I eat pie before bed if, and only if, my sugar is on the low side and still dropping. 

The other day, I was sitting at my desk buried in paperwork and not really in the mood to do any of it. So I put on my sunglasses and waltzed across the street for a box of Smarties. The perfect treat for a day like that because I got to separate them into little colour piles and nibble away as I worked. I was happy and got my stuff done. 

I had checked my sugar before and bolused for the number of carbs on the box. Easy peasy....right?

An hour later I was 5.0mmol/l (90 mg/dl). Uh oh. That meant I was dropping FAST. 

I ate 6 giant rockets which I really didn't feel like eating and I went back to work. A little while later, I was headed to the mall after work and I could tell I was low. I ate 6 more rockets which I REALLY didn't want and waited a few minutes until I felt better. I went in to the mall, grabbed what I needed and headed home. As I walked up the driveway, I could tell I was dropping again so I ate, you guessed it, 6 more rockets. 

And then I had dinner. 

My little box of Smarties was delicious and exactly what I wanted but it resulted in a whole pile of sugar and calories that I had to eat which are are a) not good for me and b) not wanted. 

I mean really - who wants to scarf back 18 giant rockets? They're tasty in small doses but a little nauseating in large quantities. 

Sometimes it's just not worth it. Sometimes it is. 

Either way - diabetes can be really freaking annoying sometimes. 

If I could do it all over again, I would waltz across the street and get the damn Smarties. But I would bolus less so I could enjoy them and call it a day.