Stop The Ride - I Wanna Get Off!!

This is a graphic representation of what the healing process for my calf should be:

This is a graphic representation of what the actual healing process has been like:

If you would like a graphic representation of the emotions that accompany this healing process, please look again at the picture above.

Bloody hell!

What a roller coaster these past 2 1/2 weeks have been.  

Every run since my 30k has been a complete unknown.  Sometimes I try for 6k but can only hobble through three.  The run two days later feels great and I run 6k no problems.  Two days after that I run 15k - again no major issues.  Three days later, I head out for 8k and am back to hobbling for three.

What the hell?!?

I get a bit better.

I get a bit worse.

I give up on the marathon.

I get excited because it looks like I'll be able to do it.

I give up on it again.

I have no idea what happened between Saturday's 15k and Tuesday's 3k but my ankle was not happy.  I ran one loop of my neighbourhood, stretched out my calf and ran a second loop.  At that point I gave up and headed home.

Tonight, I'm heading out for a bike ride.  I've been holding on to the hope that I'd be able to increase my running distance but running 3 to 5k two days a week is not going to keep my cardio up and my body in shape.  So I'm hitting the road on a bike and riding up lots of hills to keep my heart pumping.

If the trend holds, I'll hobble around a bit today, feel better on Thursday and be able to run 20k on the weekend.  Next week, I'll hobble through 3k again, cry, give up, wake up the next day with no pain and then feel the faint glimmer of hope reignite once again.

Up

Down

Up

Down

I'm glad there is only 2 1/2 more weeks before race day.  Come what may, once the day is over, the pressure will be gone.  The pressure is self-created of course - I just want to be in good enough shape to run my first marathon.  If I can't, then I can't but, until race day, there's always the hope that I can.

Also, once race day comes I won't have to run those damn loops around my neighbourhood anymore.  I've run that 1.5k loop 24 times in the past two weeks.  The neighbours are starting to wonder, the same dogs bark at me every time I pass their house and I'm beginning to feel like a stalker.

Or perhaps one of these little guys